Therapeutic Approach

It is difficult to explain what happens in psychotherapy. There are no formulaic sessions, and I have found that the way I work varies significantly from one person to another. Still, there are a few common elements I can allude to.

First, we both look at who you are being (i.e.,your behaviours and patterns, automatic or intentional) in the context in which your difficulties arise. We look at these ‘old’ things that have always been there as if we were seeing them for the first time; we make the familiar unfamiliar. We look at what happened to you, how it affected you, and what you had to do to survive. I invite you to talk about the thoughts, pictures, and sensations that come to you as we discuss areas of your life that hold significance for you. You are encouraged to let whatever memories are popping up in your mind arrive, as if you are simply watching. This is associated with what is known as drishtabhav in the Vipassana tradition. This helps us discover together your characteristic ways of thinking, being and responding – the ways you may not be familiar with because you are immersed in them like a fish in water. It also lets you get in touch with your emotional world, and build your capacity for feeling your feelings fully instead of staying disconnected from parts of you.

Second, we try to heal past wounds, particularly using approaches such as IFS and EMDR. Suppose, we are discussing your difficult boss and your mind drifts to something else, say, images of your father screaming at you as a child. We will ‘reprocess’ that memory together and try to heal the wound caused to the younger version of you (or younger ‘part’ of you), so it doesn’t continue to impact your present.

Third, simply put, I offer care. Through this relationship of care, I hope that our relationship and weekly cadence of sessions provides a secure base for you to venture forth into difficult areas of life. Some people look forward to experiencing such care. For others, it can be a jarring experience to be cared for. Sometimes, the experience can be associated with feelings of shame at ‘dependency’. All such responses are welcome in psychotherapy.

Allow me now to briefly explain the three approaches I use.